Tuesday, February 23, 2010

down in tears

The other day I was signing a card and thinking about how people sign "baby" at the bottom with the rest of the family. So I thought about doing this (which I always thought was ridiculous, but may have done it myself a few times in the past)....
and I broke 
down in 
tears. 
I was praying last night before I went to bed and thought about the moment that we meet "her" for the first time and wondering if I would want to keep the same girl's name that I have had picked out for years, or if something else will come up the moment I see her....and then 
I broke 
down in 
tears. 
I was shopping with my friend Melanie after Christmas and we laughed about how we're both pregnant--she's physically preggers and I will hopefully have a baby in nine months (with some beautiful luck)...I just won't gain the weight or have my usual hip problems, etc. So thinking about this the other day, well, guess it.....it made 
me break 
down in 
tears. 
 My tears are happy and sad and every emotion in between and I'm sure there will be more to come. My tears come from knowing that we will soon bring a girl--yes, I know it!!--a girl!! into this testosterone-filled house in just a few months. My boys will have the little sister they have prayed for...longed for...talked about for a whole year. And we will be soo blessed by her presence that our hearts will be filled up..... What a surreal idea that we are adopting. The family who was content with their three boys out riding their bikes and camping and hiking without any help, is going to have another child.....and it will be a girl. The family who never thought that it was possible because there was soo much at stake and heartache involved......is going to love and cherish this sweet little life. She will be ours and we will be hers and when I think of it all......
the dam 
breaks.

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