Friday, October 30, 2009

My Sissy

Today is dedicated to my sister, Kim. Today my sister had surgery to remove her cancerous thyroid and also had three of her four para-thyroids removed. Yesterday my sister had it's gone, and it has been said that thyroid cancer is the "good cancer" because it is pretty easily detectable and removed. I say it's still cancer. Cancer is cancer, and none of it is "good".

I am writing because my sister and I haven't always been on the same page. In fact, for most of our lives we've been in completely different books. She thinks I'm a freak who breastfeeds too long and goes to quacks for doctors, and I think she can be overly-honest and extremely loud. We have the same genetics, but our personalities are so different that you'd never know it.

Yesterday my sister had cancer and today it's gone... and I get to write about how much I love her and how sad I am for the times that we've missed out on because we haven't been able to come to a middle ground. This isn't the first day that I've felt good about our relationship, but it's the day that I surrender my feelings because I realize how much we have taken each other for granted. She may not see it this way, cause I've always been "hypersensitive" (her words), but she doesn't get to write it either. Ha!

I'm so happy that she is well and that we have so many more years to be sisters.....not everyone gets to say that.
Yesterday my sister had it's gone, and I
thank you, God, for my sister.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


Well, the leaves are falling, but we never had our fall season. It got really cold and it just never warmed up again...straight from summer to winter. The busy-ness started with the school/soccer season and as it hasn't stopped. Usually this happens about Halloween and goes straight downhill from there, but with the early chills came the premature craziness. Here is an example...our day yesterday (Saturday):
7:00--get up and ready for the day
8:00--make salad for church brunch
9:00-- chores and packing for entire day
10:15--prayer service at church
10:30--brunch for possible new pastor
11:30--Dic's church board interview with poss. new pastor
12:00--Luke's last soccer game
1:00--Zach's last soccer game
1:30--Luke's soccer pizza party
2:30--Zach's soccer party
2:45--home to get costumes on and faces painted
3:00--Uncle Clay picked up kids to take them to a Halloween/Birthday party
3:00--Devotional service at church with poss. new pastor
3:30--social at church
4:00--pick kids up at party
5:30--niece's Birthday party
7:45--headed to mom's to have her take care of boys for a couple of hours :0)
8:00--change of direction....heading home....with kids still dressed and painted from party and no dinner!
(We were planning to attend our good friends' 40th Anniversary party, but decided we couldn't handle one more thing.) we are resting.....after rising at 6:00 to be ready for worship practice at 8:00am for church at 10:00. Okay, NOW we're resting. :0) Now that soccer is over I am vowing to myself that we will have moments of rest through the winter. I don't do chaos very well and tend to want to pull my nice warm covers over my head and sleep instead. Dic and I think that we lead a pretty calm, simple life, but it has been pointed out that we follow this routine fairly often. So I may have to work harder at saying No when necessary. This is something I have to remind myself of every once-in-a-while. Tomorrow is going to be a good day, but I do have some things that are weighing on my heart and I would appreciate any prayers this week. My sister was given the news that she has thyroid cancer and is going in for surgery on Friday to have it removed. She has assured me that everything is/will be alright and she has felt peace about most of it. Also, my friend's son fell on his school steps and fractured a vertebrae which has really thrown her for a loop and, of course, put him in a lot of pain.. Her husband is deployed and she is doing what she and her partner usually take on together. I want to be a strong friend and sister and mom and aunt and daughter and wife and just need a little help right now. Thank you for your prayers during this Winter-ish Fall week. May God Bless my family and friends.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Where's my Faith?

I cannot contain my excitement that I'm feeling right now. I have been walking around the last week feeling like our plan, was getting further away. Things were not looking hopeful and I still knew that we would someday adopt, but didn't know when. I just finished telling some friends today that it didn't look like it was going to happen anytime soon. And I was soo confused about whether God was telling me to back down and chill out, or have faith in Him and keep on persevering no matter how hard. I started re-reading my assignment from our small group at church and the book is called Manna. Manna is learning to trust God for our daily provisions. Everything in these few chapters kept saying "trust Me and I will Bless you". I kept reading about how we don't need the "stuff" in our lives....we just need God. I take this personally because I really do like shopping, BUT how many "things" do I need? I should be following the advice I give my children and just feel blessed and grateful for what I have. Soo many times we idol the blessings....the material items....rather than the Blesser. It doesn't mean that we have to live in poverty, but we need to be happy with what He has already given us. We are not living on Manna if we always want more, and we are constantly chasing after the things we think will make us happy; the bigger house, the nicer car, the toys. And then we don't feel at peace. We are always real elated when something turns out right and we praise God (or we should) in these times, but when God provides for us today will we wake up in the morning knowing that He will continue these blessings every day no matter what? So my point being.... that even though we may live paycheck-to-paycheck and money may not come as easily to us as it does to some, that we ARE doing God's work when we take a child who has nothing and give them a family who loves and cherishes them. God wants this and so we must trust Him when He tells us to keep going, though it may not be easy...financially or otherwise. We have all we need and we will find a way to make this happen with God leading the parade. It is He who is the light that we follow...He brought us to this we need to have a little Faith and know that this is the right thing to do. He WILL Bless us and we should not think we have to take it all on ourselves. We are NOT alone on this journey.

Today I read some more, took a nap, and woke up feeling drawn to agency-shopping again. I had kinda given up on the idea that this could ever be a reality. But with some conversations and some FAITH (yeh!!) I have given this back to my God. I also received a comment from a person I don't know (I hardly ever receive comments!) that made me feel at peace. So thank you for all of you who are quietly supporting us. Thank you for your prayers and little reminders that our God has a plan for our family. I am again jumping for joy to get this party started!! And please feel free to share your thoughts anytime as your comments are always very much loved appreciated.

God gave me Grace today.


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Just One

God has our little girl all picked out for us. She is beautiful inside and out and loves the Lord with all her might. She has the smile of a princess and a heart that spills love. We will wait to meet her when He says it's time. He has chosen her for little girl....just one.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


If God really wants us to bring a little girl into our home, He will help us find a way. I am laying it down and have total faith the He will provide in whatever way we need. I have faith that He wants us to do this even though it won't be easy and the hurdles are going up already.
I have faith.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

And this is why I want to adopt--enjoy your read

I am adding this:
those of you who know me know that I follow (stalk) the most amazing-loving girl who pours her heart out to soo many in need every Africa especially.

This is HER Story

He is teaching me to stop for ONE. And it is hard and it is ugly. Because every time I stop for that ONE sick child, that ONE hungry old man, that ONE new baby girl, my mind races with the statistics of how many more there are that I am not touching, not feeding, not saving. God whispers every time though that this ONE is enough. That this ONE is feeling His love and that is eternal. ETERNAL. I think of sweet baby Happy who died at 4 months after we did all that we could. I didn't understand how God had led me to feel so attached to that little girl if His plan was to take her all along. I think of Michael who is back at home with his step mom, healthy now, but more than likely still mistreated. God knows that as a single woman I cannot legally adopt a little boy, how could my heart be so knit to his. I think tonight of
Gloria who's brain was so damaged from her high fever she may always be in a vegetable like state. God in His infinite wisdom KNEW that if I had been there a few days sooner, this could have been prevented. But then I think of 14 little girls who have a home and food and a Mommy and know Jesus. I think of 600 Karamajong children, modern day lepers in Uganda, singing about God's love for them and leaving with their bellies full. I think of 400 sponsored children who sometimes show up on Saturday in new clothes because now that Amazima is providing them with all their basic needs (food, education, medical care) their parents can afford to buy them a NEW DRESS. I see thousands of deep brown eyes and feel thousands of little brown hands and I know that even on the hardest day, stopping is worth it. A life changed is worth it, even if only ONE. God's love made known is worth it, even if only to ONE. I will not save them all. But I will keep trying. I will say Yes. I will stop for that ONE no matter how hopeless. Jesus, give us the stregth to say yes to whoever you put in our paths today.

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