i choose to love.

i haven't been writing here lately...

like for a very long lately.  

and it's because, well, i haven't wanted to write about positive things 

as i wasn't feeling super positive. 

our "back-side"

i wanted to write, but i didn't feel like being funny, or witty....

sometimes i just wanted to spew my whole story out there.

i decided i needed to sit on that for awhile 

(since i tend to tell too much MOST of the time). 

the "front-side"

i am nearing the age where people begin to think real hard before they say everything they are feeling 

(sad).  

it feels, oh-so-good to get it out, 

but the regrets hurt later. 

and this is one reason why i knew i couldn't "come back" just yet. 

how much do i want to share? 

what if i write some things that my child(ren) will read later and be hurt by? 

it's been such a struggle deciding. 

so i just don't. 

i have been keeping those feelings for my close friends and some adoptive mamas who 
"get it". 

  

i'm gonna try to start from square one again. 

clean slate. 

the past is behind me, and i have faith that everything will just keep getting better. 

here goes 

(thinking positive-thinking positive) :0)

  

do you ever feel like you're living someone else's life for just a little while?

like nothing seems real? 

cause you are blessed beyond measure and you just don't feel worthy?

cole thomas...13 years old

soo blessed beyond measure.

only one fell in...i won't say which one......very explicit instructions were given on this picture day :0)

i seem to have some very special blessings in my life.

i hope my love is apparent. 

zachary daniel--10 years old

i hope it is felt by those i hold close to my heart.

a friend once said to me,

"love is not a feeling. love is a choice."

it made me feel better, but a little lot confused.

i always thought of love as a feeling.

luke casey--8 years old

and then i found another explanation.....

you are soo wise , daddy.....we're listening.

love is a choice.......

 it's a choice.....

aregash faith dejene

and when you choose to love......

the feelings come.

 

feeling love can take time.

it's different for everyone.

i understand this now.

i was pretty hard on myself.

love takes time.

what's soo hard about that?

but it's what makes the world go 'round.

and it feels so good to love....

and BE loved.

something we think we always knew,

but never thought we'd struggle with.

love is a choice......

and when we choose to love,

the feelings come.

i choose to love. 

i CHOOSE to love.

it's just that simple