One of the posts by "Auntie Katie" from her journey in Africa. I have read all of her blog now and it has changed me.........God is in her heart.......he is in all of our hearts.
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I believe that it is better to give yourself away and in the end feel that your heart is being ripped out of your chest than to guard yourself and forgo the pain.
I have given everything I have – my life, my soul, myself. My heart is entangled in the lives of these children, this mess of poverty, this spiritual joy. I can actually physically feel the hurt in my heart, and as I kiss my daughters goodnight or feel a street kid’s tiny fingers wrap around mine it is almost more than I can bear. But I wouldn’t change a minute. If not being quite as involved, not loving with everything I have, not changing lives would eliminate this hurt of leaving, I would choose the pain.
I believe that life is not about avoiding the storm, but learning to dance in the rain.
In my spirit, I feel the thunderstorm brewing, and at any moment a shower of tears may erupt. I don’t know exactly where I am headed. I don’t know exactly when my heart will feel whole again. But God is teaching me to rejoice – if in nothing else, to rejoice in the fact that He is Lord. He knows the answers to all of my hardest questions, that He can heal my hurt. My identity does not come from where I live or what I am doing there, but from Him alone. My heart is heavy, but I will dance with the joy of the Lord, my Savior.
“I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the thought; decay crept into my bones and my legs trembled… but though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, still I will REJOICE in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength. He makes my feet jump and dance like the feet of a deer; He enables me to climb to the highest heights.”Habakkuk 3:17-19