Saturday, November 10, 2012

~`~Surrendering to Something Heavenly~`~

 i can't even explain what's been happening to me lately.
 i know it's a God thing. 
i have learned through some really tough things the last few years what God's presence feels like. there are soo many times when i wish i could feel that presence and it just isn't there. 
it feels amazing to feel the Holy Spirit working in me. 

i have been at a loss for words. i can't seem to figure out exactly what it all means.
 i have this spirit. this energy. this passion. a love for others that i can't explain. i want to help. i want to give. i want to go. 
it's crazy how badly i want to go.

it's really rather difficult to sit still and be quiet and patient while He works on me and gives me answers.
 i'd rather jump! 
tell me what to do with all of this!

 i have been fighting for the orphans and the widows more than ever.
 is that what this is about??
 are we suppose to adopt again? 
(the kids have been talking and praying)
 are we supposed to move somewhere where we can be closer? 
what is it?

i asked some advice from a wise soul and was advised to keep doing what i'm doing.
 i know it's not up to me. i know that there is a perfect time for everything. i know that i can make a difference whether i'm here or "there". but i know there is a plan to go. dic has told me to trust and listen about that.....that it isn't up to us or about us. i am keeping my faith, as i know to do, and trying to be as patient as possible. 
and i have asked dic to keep an open mind about what's to come. 
our family has found a place where we trust God more than ever before. 
i love that. 

so in the meantime i will give of myself. i will care for the needy. i will support the families who work soo hard to give children a family. i will lend a hand when i can. i will fight for the widow and i will fight for the orphan. i will trust my God when He says He has something big planned for me and my life. i will try to be still and quiet and listen for His words.

 changes that happen in my life, i am learning, are not about me. these changes will bring glory to my creator. i am His tool. i am His Shepard. 
i have given it all to Him before.
i am prepared to do that again.
for the love of God.
i am ready for something big.
something's happening.
it will be HUGE when i figure it out.
i'm praying and asking questions.
maybe i'm not asking the right questions.

i surrender...... 

 to whatever you're doing inside of me.
it feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace.
it's hard to surrender to what i can't see,
but i'm giving in to something HEAVENLY.

surrendering to something

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