Wednesday, May 18, 2011

mommy in me

i always wanted to be a mommy.  
even when i was too young to understand what it really meant and how hard it could be
i wanted to be someone's mom.  
i played with dolls until way into junior high.
i would line them all up along the wall and take turns giving them my time.
i'd talk to them,
rock them,
dress them.
everything a good mommy would do.
they had feelings.
and i was there to take care of them.

this is me with one of my first "babies"

then when my baby brother came i tried to show my mom how it was done.
i was 8.
and when i was finishing up my last year of college 
(yes it took me 8 years to complete my degree...and yes, it was in education....taking care of and teaching children
i was pregnant with my first son.
i didn't want to be a teacher
i wanted to be a mommy.
people could see it,
especially my mom.
that's all i've ever wanted.
so i stayed home and played with my baby.
that's still all i want.....
to be a mommy
to him
and him
and him
and her.
again and again and again and again.
i hope He can be proud of the mommy He sees.
it's not as easy as it seemed back then.
things never really are....

and when i'm sad
i just think about
the mommy that's always been 


momintraining said...

That was me too!! All I ever wanted was to get married and have babies!! Kindred hearts!

Chelsey said...

Kendra, that is just beautiful. Thanks for sharing such heartfelt words, your poem of love - a gift to those babies for sure.

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