some little pictures of the BIG things in my world.................................

it has been busy-crazy since summer finally got here.  baseball, baseball, and more baseball.  and then there is company and weddings and swimming and all.  here are a few of the things i (we) have been up to.

my auntie lynn came to visit and brought INJURA!!!! for Aregash.....she was in HEAVEN

my brother's wedding rehearsal dinner. this is me, my new sis-in-law, and my sister

 

 

 

lukey lost 3 teeth within about a week--he was sooo stoked :0) and they are already growing back in!

our hiking trip in the beautiful black hills with all kinds of cousins! sky-posers!!!...or something :0)

this is 11 of my parents' 12 grandchildren and our very close cousins--sweet day for sweet memories!

mama and the gang--my first picture with all FOUR of my kiddos

the wedding of the century--my lil brother, clay, and his bride, jessilyn--sooo happy she's a part of our family!

the wedding crew!! minus the cute little flower girls

the boyz---my brother had a group in high school they called the "great8"...this is all of them plus a few he picked up along the way--soo blessed to have these friends.  and i LOVE this picture (if i do say so myself:0)

my nephew jacob, who we only get to see once a year now with his dad living in alaska (jake lives in AR with his mama). 

lukey's last baseball game of the season and he FINALLY got to play catcher--my position :0)

zach's last game of the season--

the major league division II champions------the PATRIOTS ROCKED!!

aregash's hair-do for the week--i'm practicing for bigger things :0)

all the glory to HIM

I still have 3 ugandan necklaces left to help with the expenses for this family. 

3-light-colored, hand-crafted by ugandan people...just for you :0)

 you can place your order on the right-hand side of this page.  

and almost everything i was selling for them was sold at my friend, melanie's rummage sale

except the tan rocker/ottoman :0(....hope to find a buyer for this!!

......thank you melanie!!! 

they are with their boys right now, just waiting to bring them home.  this all happened very fast and their expenses would be pretty overwhelming for any family.  but god is gracious and he will take care of them.  which doesn't mean we don't have to do our part to help.  

god was soo faithful in his promises to our family and i am honored to be able to help another....
even of it's only a little bit. 
and just look at these sweet faces! 

 

such a miracle!

5 months as HER family

5 months 

of 

loving, 

laughing, 

and enjoying 

the beauty

 in god's direction.

blessed
beyond
words.

t-shirts for baby Ghana

sporting our shirts in muscat, oman!!!

 i've been waiting for god's sign.......his direction as to where my left-over t-shirts could help.  i had it in my head from the first day that i wanted to help someone else the way that we had been blessed throughout our adoption.  well, a couple of weeks ago we attended a ugandan children's choir at a local church.  when it was over, the gal sitting in front of us turned around and asked if we had adopted aregash.  when i answered she said that they were waiting for their baby boy from ghana, africa to come home.  we talked for quite awhile and i felt an instant connection.  we even talked about the financial aspect and i suspected that this was it.  i had been feeling like the family i could help would be someone local who i could have a lasting friendship with and our kids would be friends.  i offered my shirts and she accepted with a few tears.  i can see a blossoming friendship.  if you'd like to follow their story you can visit her blog here.  and if you'd like to purchase a shirt to help their little man come home you can just purchase them on my blog page and all of the proceeds will go back to them.  you can even see a picture of this sweet boy on her page (very different from ethiopian adoptions where the child cannot be shown until the embassy appt is over).  they also have a "chip in" button if you just want to donate monies. :0)

front of shirt

back of shirt

the remaining sizes ad colors are listed on the right side of this page......this is all that is available at this time.  

let's do this friends!!!!

What would you do to help 3 boys come home to their family????

There are ALWAYS things we can do to help our friends.....ALWAYS.  It's just a matter of being creative and motivated.  I have made a friend...never met her in person, but through blogging (it's such an amazing thing). You can read more about their story HERE  

The Mama bought one of my t-shirts for our fundraiser when we were working on bringing Aregash home.  I felt the need to reply and ask her how she came upon our shirts.....and a lovely friendship began.  We have emailed back and forth about our stories/struggles in the adoption process and she has been a sounding board when I needed it.  

there are 3 light-colored necklaces and 1 dark left

beautiful work by the people of Uganda, Africa

I had already promised my left-over shirts to a local family to help with their fundraiser, and I was having a hard time coming up with an idea since we live soo far away from each other.  Soooooo.....I remembered I still have 4 Ugandan necklaces left and I am going to give the proceeds to them.  If you would like to purchase one to help their family you can click the "Add to Cart" button on the right side of this page and select the dark or light beads. 

AND I am on my way to my friend Melanie's house to try to sell some furniture (and a computer) at her rummage sale....this too will help my friend and her family bring their 3,4, & 5 year old boys home to their new family.  This is AMAZING stuff people!!  These little boys are soooo excited to meet their new mommy and daddy and all of their siblings!  I can't wait to see them all united!  This happened really fast and there is a big-time fee of $20,000 that needs to be paid right away.  I know what it's like and so do many of you.  But we all know that He will provide what they need and I am soo humbled to help, even if it's only a little bit.

If you feel the desire to help this beautiful family you can go to their blog page and purchase a t-shirt or just donate.  

content in cuteness......

so far our summer has consisted of baseball, baseball, and more baseball.

at storybook island.....our childhood past-time

 and this is what what we resort to for nap-time.  a good piece of shade.....next to a garbage can at (you guessed it!) the baseball game.

she's not really sleeping

after-game happiness--yep, we won at the last minute

and in the few moments we get between games and  rainy days we work on this a little bit

our beautiful walkway in our backyard

and then we stop for a pose

in the strawberry patch

and sometimes we just find one.......a strawberry

but why are they soo tiny?  the strawberries, i mean.

feeling soo happy and content and grateful this particular monday.

Progression in Transition

those of you who know me know i'm not the silent type.

i haven't been quiet about about my adoption struggles.

i'm not afraid to tell how it's been hard, like really hard for me.

i shared early on how the beginning transition period was stressful and what we were doing to get through it all.....read some here

i always keep in mind that people may be disappointed in me and my feelings.

but i think it's necessary and totally helpful for other families to know the things that other adoptive/adopting families go through....so we all know 

we 

aren't 

alone.

she wasn't an infant when we brought her home (not to say that that is easy either).

she was almost three by the time she came to be a part of our family.

she has a story....she has memories....she has a personality.

when she first came home she tested the waters to see where she fit, if she fit, what she could get away with.

would we still love her even if she chose something else to wear? if she had a meltdown over being told NO? when she pushed her food away?

i'm sure she was wondering, "what will my new family be capable of providing for me?".  

the first 6-8 weeks was really hard because she still wasn't quite sure of her relationship with her daddy (which is beautiful now) and i was more like a single parent at that point--she wouldn't even let him look at her.  i was exhausted from over-thinking everything and trying to give her everything she needed without having to undo everything later when the rules would change.

 resentment began to creep in, i think. and please believe me when i tell you how hard that is to admit.  we waited a grueling year for this blessing of pink that god granted us.  it's pretty much all i thought about, talked about. 
my poor friends.  
this was the biggest step in faith i had ever taken...that dic and i had ever taken together.....and maybe the biggest that our family will ever take as a whole (i hope not).  and somehow i came to the point where it took such an effort for me to find joy.  when dic worked soo hard to play with aregash and show her how fun and loving he was, then our youngest son felt the void.  when i tried to fill his void, she showed jealousy like i have never seen in a child.  
i was torn. 
 and i stayed torn.  
it began to feel like when i was pregnant with my second child and i wasn't sure how i was going to be able to spread the love between two children.

how do i love these four children equally, always having to keep in mind that one came from a hard place?

i talked to friends (especially adopting friends) who have experienced similar things in their lives and it was a comfort.

but it didn't fix what i was feeling.

they would say "it will come......
the love will come".

and i felt despair and shame.

pre-adoption the worry was more about "will she love us?"  "will she attach to us?"

i never once had a concern that my feelings could be different for a child not born of my body.

i don't think there is ever a way to prepare your mind and heart for this.

i mean, how can i not feel "love" for this child that i loved from clear across the world. the child that god placed in my heart years down the road and the child that he knew from the beginning of time would be ours?
please try to understand that i have always loved her...it's just a different kind of love--a learned love.  

i cry now writing this. 

 knowing that many of you who read it will judge and not understand. 

 but then again....how could you?  if you have not been in my shoes?  it's like saying you know about being a parent when you've never done it at all.

i have enough shame and guilt for all of us, believe me.

and this is where i don't get when people don't believe in god. 
 because he is always the answer.

i have prayed for the four months she's been home that god would soften my hardened heart.  
where did this darkness come from?  
why can't i see the joy in something soo apparent....
something soo simple...soo precious?

i have asked for forgiveness.  for the times i was far less than perfect.  for instead of welcoming happiness and love and joy i let fear and frustration and sadness creep in.

it is never what i intended or expected or wanted...i think anyone would know that.

it was what it was.

and through it all she loved me (even though one day she broke my heart when she said she didn't).

she forgave me.  

i have always known to tell my kids i'm sorry when i have hurt their feelings and she is no exception.

even when she didn't understand english yet it seemed as though she truly understood what i was saying and gave me grace.

things have progressively gotten better, as i was assured they would be.

i am feeling the peace that god promised when our journey began and i am so very grateful for that.  the sun is finally shining and the birds are singing and i am happy.

this child of god. my child of god is with us.

i showed her how to fold her hands up when she talks about our family.

to show how we are all intertwined and connected....

together.

i have always said she is the missing piece to our puzzle.
she is.
she is perfect for me.....for our family.

god knew what he was doing when he placed her in our hearts.

this was always the plan.

i was wrong to ever question that, even when things have been soo difficult.

god tells me that i need to stop being soo hard on myself 
(and so do all my friends)....

that it's only been 4 months since she came to us.

nothing can ever prepare our hearts for such a huge transition.

some people handle it with ease, while others struggle more.

he tells me to stop thinking and just to love.

love isn't always easy and it doesn't always come in perfect form, 

but love can heal anything....anyone.

and so we move on with contagious smiles and answered prayers.

hearts are softened and god is glorified.

it took me some time to fill in the blanks.

 saying that it has been emotional is an understatement.

 i don't want to be that person who sits back and waits while others are hurting.

if i can help one more family to get through their trials, 
even if by knowing they aren't alone,

then i will do it.

one of my adoptive mama friends gave some of the best advice.....

just keep holding and loving and praying

and the 

rest 

will 

come.

thank you for your compassion even when it may not be a part of your story.

Dinosaurs

wondering if dinosaurs "come alive" when in the statue-state

The beginning of the week we ventured out for the first time since school got out. 

 We had fun. 

 I plan to have more of these days...

many many more. 

 See here what it looked like.

you can see THAT dinosaur from all over town!

LOVE this one of Zachie--I spent several days here every year of my life.

my mom has pictures of me and my siblings just like this

never too old for  this :0)

flesh-eating dinos!!

he can't keep from smiling while he's being eaten alive!  Good Times!

OBVIOUSLY we went to Dinosaur Park.......

Aregash's first time and she wasn't quite sure if the dinos would move at any given second.  
So we played with this a lot.  
It was fun.  
She had fun.  
We giggled and giggled and she wants to go back and take daddy.
Soo happy summer is finally HERE! 

mommy in me

i always wanted to be a mommy.  

even when i was too young to understand what it really meant and how hard it could be

i wanted to be someone's mom.  

i played with dolls until way into junior high.

i would line them all up along the wall and take turns giving them my time.

i'd talk to them,

rock them,

dress them.

everything a good mommy would do.

they had feelings.

and i was there to take care of them.

this is me with one of my first "babies"

then when my baby brother came i tried to show my mom how it was done.

i was 8.

and when i was finishing up my last year of college 
(yes it took me 8 years to complete my degree...and yes, it was in education....taking care of and teaching children) 
i was pregnant with my first son.

i didn't want to be a teacher

i wanted to be a mommy.

people could see it,
especially my mom.
that's all i've ever wanted.

so i stayed home and played with my baby.

that's still all i want.....

to be a mommy

to him

and him

and him

and her.
God 
blessed
 me 
again and again and again and again.
i hope He can be proud of the mommy He sees.
it's not as easy as it seemed back then.
things never really are....
easy.


and when i'm sad
i just think about
the mommy that's always been 
inside 
of 
me.

Running

I'm pretty disappointed that my last post about my baby boy's 8th Birthday was deleted by Blogger while they were having problems.  I've been patiently waiting to see if it comes back, but no-such-luck. sad face. 
 So instead of whining and pouting more I will just post his cute face and give a few updates.  I feel like I am steering further and further away from my computer these days, so I don't post as often or read my favs. Blogs as much and I really DO feel like I'm missing out sometimes.
I'll try to do better. :0)

LUKE

Lukey's 8th Birthday party...also the day his eye caught a ball :0(

 Luke was playing catch with some older boys, which then turned in to a game of pitch/hit...Luke being the pitcher.  Line drive right to the cheek.  

2 days later

 We took him to the eye doctor as the nurse from school thought he may have a damaged retina.....everything is good--TTL!

5 days and tired of pictures

7 days later and still cute as ever :0)

yesterday-9 days

 It looks better, except for the blood on the white of his eye and the bulge on his cheek bone.  I wonder what THAT'S from!!  And when will it go away?

He's also working on loosing his top two front teeth and one on the bottom.  Wouldn't that have just been pretty!!

 COLE

He ran track this year at school and now it's over--fun to watch (esp when the weather cooperated) 

Cole's last track meet

running the 1600--soo proud of him!

One of the coaches gave the little kids a chance to run in-between races. 

Aregash was pretty excited to take a chance.

needing brother's hand this time, but by the next meet she was running like a champ!

AREGASH

She had her first dental appt--3 months after being home.  No cavities!!  Yay!  The ped doc. thought she had some decay in her molar--turned out to be a stain.  I think she's the healthiest Ethiopian babe I've ever heard of!  No parasites, no fungus, no snotty nose.  

Now how bout the breath?  Any ideas of where THAT comes from????

she loved every minute of it and was disappointed when they didn't b-roosha (brush) her teeth with the polisher.....she had recently been there with her mama.

 ZACHARY

Zachary playing his recorder at 4th grade spring program

Zachie is playing baseball when he isn't in school.  This season is a commitment of usually 6 days a week, which he isn't always happy about.  He is in the Major Division of Little League which seems to be quite the step from where he was last year.  He is 10 and it seems that the older kids get first chance at playing the infield.  We are still hoping he will get his turn as he ROCKED as pitcher in the past years--he's just a super-star when it comes to sports.  You would figure that the younger kids would get a chance too, as THEY will be there next year...and the year after that.  They do have to try out to make the team so they do have the talent.  We'll keep our fingers crossed. :0)

And THAT is what we're up to...just in case you missed us. :0)