We're Home-Part II.......The People of Addis

For Part I...click HERE!


We were in Addis for five full days, unlike many couples who passed through for 2 or 3.  We did this on purpose because I knew my body couldn't take the long flight, the adjustments to time change, etc, and then back on another long flight again.  The other reason being that if we were going to fly across the world we were going to make the most of it.  You have to know Dic and I never go anywhere together...alone.  SO......every morning I woke up and said, "I'm going to take a walk around the neighborhood today to meet some of the people".  And each day brought something new.  I went through a series of emotions while we were gone--it seemed like we spent 2-3 weeks there.  The first full day the guys took a soccer ball (that Lori & Eric brought for a donation) and went outside the gates to play with some boys.  People started to peek out their doors to watch and I asked if I could take their pictures.

  They all seemed to love it--playing and posing.  But one lady (about my age) stepped outside her door and asked me who I was and why I was taking pictures.  I told her we were visiting the guest house and I was just having fun with my camera.  I immediately felt as thought I had offended her.  And of course, this was NOT my intention.  Later when I was discussing it with the staff at the guest house we wondered if maybe she was hurt that I hadn't asked to take HER picture, but it came out a different way.  Regardless, I had been rubbed the wrong way.  I went from taking shots freely from our balcony to hiding my camera.  It's really hard to explain unless you've "been there", but I didn't want to upset anyone else.  Who did I think I was gallivanting around like a tourist with nothing better to do.  I should be trying to fit in as much as possible, and this way didn't seem to be making me many friends.  From then on I was more selective about the pictures I took and where I took them.  Always making sure that I had befriended the people before waving my camera around.

a view from our roof-top

a look inside a compound, a home

 With our donations I brought lots and lots of clothes for kiddos.  Our agency is really only needing them for ages 5-10, so I packed them up.  But I had a huge amount of baby clothes and wasn't sure where to take them.  Dic and I became close with the staff at the guest house and I asked the women there if they had babies.  They told me they had sisters who were in need and I asked them to come up with a list of sizes.  I'm pretty sure we got them all decked out for awhile. :0)  But I still had infant clothes without a place to go.  The last day we were in Addis, most of our friends had gone home.  I decided this would be the day that we took our walk around the neighborhood.  I was determined to find the babies that I could hear crying from our room at night.  Our new friend Balynesh from Jemimah found a young girl who had a very small baby and she came for the remainder of my stash.  She was soo delighted and it made my heart melt.  They showed us where she lived, basically outside our gates, and we were able to visit and bring her and her family some other items from the store.  Turns out she was one of the girls I had photographed earlier in the week during the soccer game.

 As we walked further we came upon a family sitting in front of their house and they giggled and pushed their children to come say "hello" to us.  They were very reluctant.  We headed back to the little store along the way (you usually find these down most roads--convenience stores) and bought some bread (these nice loves were 1 birr each--1 huge bag of bread about $.70 US dollars) to give.....and a couple of suckers to let the kids know we were friendly. :0)  We came back, asked permission to give, and the children were all smiles.  The mother made the baby boy come kiss me.  It made my day.

 We walked and walked and I never wanted to stop.  Greeting people with "Hellos", "Salem", and giving bread and bananas when we saw the need.  The people were lovely and gracious and I felt God working in all of us.  This was the best day of our journey.  

A sheep-owner posing for a photo.

Seeing the love, the need, the contentment.  It was an amazing way to end our trip.  And I want more....of the people.  I am excited to go back and just "be" in the moments.  Always keeping in mind that we may not be received so favorably all the time, but knowing that we gave something of our selves and received soo much.

The store outside our gates.

  It's incredible that our journey doesn't have to end there, although it would be a great ending.  We get to do it all over again, and even more, in a very short period of time.  What a lovely thought.  

More amazing people.....

 Workineh (our host) & Isias (our driver)

 Dic & Workineh (we absolutely love him!)

 "Our Girls"

  

 Our sweet cook who put on this coffee ceremony for us

 The Jemimah (sounds like Jem-i-mah...not the maple syrup) Guest House

Our gates-keeper (yes, the guy who spooked us the first night :0)

more to come on baby "A".........
to see Part 1 of our story, click HERE

We're Home...here's the story.......

Back from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia where we met our angel of all angels and went to court to become her parents.  It was amazing in every way and the coolest thing is that we get to go back!!!!!

 I will admit, I dreaded the traveling with every ounce of my being.  I have never traveled well; be it across the state, or across the country.  But surprisingly, I did alright!  My hubby bought me some homeopathic drops recommended by a pharmacist.  I dabbed a few drops behind each ear before lift-off and stuck some gum in when taking off and landing.  Magic.  But flying across the world does cramp-up the body just a tad.  Sleeping wasn't easy, so exhaustion set in quickly.  I think we figured it took between 26-28 hours total with stops in Minneapolis, Amsterdam, and Khartoum, Sudan before landing in Ethiopia.  We were one of three planes that had to circle the air for a good time, so I did eventually throw up when we landed. Sorry, TMI?  We didn't purchase our visas through the mail as most had done so we had to stand in line for about 11/2 hours.  We were drained.  The rest of our travel group just boogied through the immigration line and out the doors where their driver was waiting.  We were scared to death when we realized we were on our own, in a city of 3 million, without a driver.....or directions to the guest house.  You know you have amazing friends when they send the driver back to get you!!  We almost kissed him (well, I did anyway).  He said, "You're late."  ummm yes, we know.

We went from busy streets to unknown (and dark) roads.  We didn't speak, but were both thinking at every stop we were about to be ambushed.  And then we turned into this big, metal gate....the driver honked twice, and it was opened by a man covered from head to toe.  We thought for sure we were dead.  I dug my fingernails into my hubby's leg.  Not until we heard our friend, Brian's voice did we realize this was all part of the plan.  He said we both looked gaunt as we exited the van.  Let the journey continue!!!!

Let me just say right now that I am soo grateful to have had such great company while we were there.  We had traveled with Mariah & Brian, our friends whom we met through our Home Study group, and it was soo great to finally get to see the faces and personalities of the people I've been in touch with through our agency's Yahoo group and on Face Book.  We had a blast.  It just wouldn't have been the same without them.  We realized this when they all left to go home and we were there alone. 

The first day we went to the Holt office for an orientation on their expectations and went over our child's information.  This was a quick visit and we were off to meet our little "A" for the first time.  As we walked up the steps of the care center my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest!  We were asked to leave our shoes at the door and sandals were provided to wear inside.  What a beautiful, colorful place!  I was really impressed.  We all sat in a row in some rocking chairs and waited for our kiddos.  I was video-taping for our friends as they met their little guy when I realized that "A" was being escorted down the steps.  It was such a quick thing and I scrambled for my camera/video camera.  I think I may have even passed off our friends' camera to Dic, as if he didn't have anything else to do! Ha!  She came walking down the stairs holding hands with her nanny, wearing a boys' long sleeve Gap shirt and pink leggings.  If one of the Holt staff wouldn't have said her name, I wouldn't have recognized her.  When we received pictures we only got shots from the waist up.  I had no idea her legs would be soo long.  Turns out later that, although she is taller than we thought, her pink pants were tight and short and made her look much bigger than she really was.  Anyway....her nanny brought her right to us and she gave Dic a big 'ole hug like she had already met him before.  I sat on the edge of my seat with tears waiting my turn.  Once she wrapped her arms around my neck I didn't want to let go.  She held me tight like she already knew I was her mama.  Our baby.  Finally, we get to hold our baby!!  What a blessing.  What an honor.  What an incredible gift from our God. (I have goosebumps just thinking about it). Her skin against my face was silky smooth and her eyes big and bright with those lashes.  Oh my gosh, her lashes!  And her hair is quite a bit longer than her referral picture that we received 6 months ago when it had been shaved at intake.  It is very soft, but really thick.  Lots of the kids had little curls here and there, but "A" had a full head of tight curls.  I was dying to touch it, but I'll wait. :0)

(sorry for the teaser :0)

We have been told for months that because we would not be able to bring them home our first visit, they would be introducing us as visitors...playmates, I guess.  This was also reiterated at the orientation.  They asked us not to refer to ourselves as their parents and to remember that we were only visiting/viewing our child.  The nannies called us by name and would tell our little gal to give Mommy and Daddy hugs/kisses.  All women in their lives are known as Mommy....I think this is a cultural thing. but Dic was called Daddy plenty of times.  What else would they call him?  I couldn't see any other way for them to go about it.  She definitely knows we are her parents.  The second day Sister Martha said she asked if her family would be coming.  And when we gave her the photo book I made, I had labeled everything/everyone by name....including Mommy & Daddy.....brothers, Cole, Zachary, Luke in English and Amharic, so she would hear it when her nannies read it to her later.  We just went with the flow and let things work the way they were suppose to.

look at that little footsie!  we traced it to get her size right

It's Time To Go!!!!

We're are leaving for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia tomorrow morning.  Full swing of things as usual with getting kids to school and heading straight to the airport.  Lots of feelings right now.  My youngest guy is having a harder time letting go of his Mama for the first time ever--he's seven.  The other boys have only been away from us one other time...seven years ago.  I know they are in the best of hands while we're away and I thought of a few fun things to be given to them every couple of days.  But I think the fact that our friends are coming with their 5 kids to play...all week...with the Wii.....well i think that will help. :0)  I am excited to get on the plane and let go of all responsibilities for a week.  Oh, and then there's the fact that we get to meet our baby girl!!!!  YAY!!!  What a sweet thing!  I'll share her with you all when we can.  Hopefully we'll have her home the first part of January and we can do just that.  Until then, your prayers and blessings are very much appreciated.  God has the reigns!!  Love that!

Through the eyes of little "A"...........

I took pictures around the house to put in her photo book that we will bring to her.....leaving in 4 days.  Although the outside is not soo pretty now that winter is coming, this is the cleanest you'll prolly ever see the inside of my house (boys at school). :0)  Sneek peek at what she will see, inside and out, when she comes home.

 

the front:

the playset--

and poor yard trampled by horses.... 

back patio and deck.....

view from front......

view from back...

laundry/mud room....

 

 

 family room....

 

kitchen....

 dining room....

living room....

kids' & guest bathroom....

A's & Luke's room and new bed 

(that of which has no new bedding...yet).....

brothers' room..... 

mommy & daddy's room...... 

master bath....

and her loveable puppies--Phoebe and Smoke.

Hopefully she will recognize everything when she arrives from the picture book and have less of a shock with all of the "newness".  We are all soo excited.....today it's hard for me to breathe.

4 days to go and we meet our beauty!!!!

I have been nesting like never before!  If I could list everything I know I'd bore you, but I am gonna mention a few cause I'm amazed at myself for my accomplishments!  Ha!

 I updated baby books for 3 children...TWO years worth.

I wrote in their journals which I never get to ....BAD mommy!

I painted the dining room so I could hang up my word walls--see picture. :0)

I touched up paint in every room in the house--something I've dreaded doing for 2 years.

I organized and relabeled thousands of pictures on my computer and then printed over 800 to distribute to 4 photo albums...which I did...and then I smiled. :0)

 I organized and purged just about every closet and cupboard in the house...just about.

I washed every single stink'n piece of laundry,

OKAY......I'm done.  There's more, but I won't bore you. :0)  Now I need to pack for me, pack donations, and write each of my kids a letter.  And we all know my house won't look this good in 24 hours, let alone 4 days, so I still have some work ahead.  But in the end....after a VERY long flight.....and missing my boys at home.....and missing Thanksgiving with my family.............

THERE'S A BABY GIRL WAITING FOR ME!!!!  

So happy.  

Thank you, God.

YOU amaze me.

Top Ten Things NOT To Ask

This was written very eloquently by an adopting friend from our same agency.  I felt the need to share...an educate.  And it all starts here. :0)

In honor of November being National Adoption Month, let's talk a little adoption semantics.  There are those things, sometimes completely well-meaning, that people say and do that make every adoptive mama cringe a little.  Here's my top 10:

1. "Which ones are your real kids?  Oh, you know what I mean."  Well, in my case the difference between my biological kiddos and adopted kiddo is a little obvious, so I've never had this question.  But, this isn't always the case.  In general I don't believe people intend to insult or offend.  But, think of it from the kids' perspectives.  Imagine growing up, and constantly hearing questions as to your "realness" or the feeling of having to prove your place in your family.  And, don't fool yourself ... kids are always listening.  Adoptive parents already have extra battles to fight to instill a sense of confidence and security.  Don't make it harder for them by asking insensitive questions.  I assure you, Joseph is my real kid as much as my three other kids are, and I would not hesitate a millisecond to jump in front of a bullet for him.
2. If you meet a family with more than one adopted kid, don't ask "are they real siblings."  Yes, they are real siblings!  Timothy has a real brother, and his name is Joseph.
3. "What a blessing your family is to Joseph."  I know this is a well meaning comment.  I've heard it numerous times.  But, let me tell you, I am a blessing (and a curse) to all my children equally.  And, I believe wholeheartedly that I am receiving the greater blessing.  So, if you are tempted to say this, just turn it around.  Say: "Oh, what a blessing Joseph is to your family," because this would be more accurate.
4. "Oh, what an awesome thing you did.  You are so amazing.  You must be a saint."  Honestly, I throw up a little in my mouth every time I hear this.  Trust me folks, this isn't false modesty.  I'm perfectly flawed and, just like most every other mama, I spend way too much time selfishly ignoring my kids and losing my patience.  If you've said this to me, no worries.  I forgive you.  Just cut it out! :)
5. "Oh, I hope he knows how much you've done for him when he grows up."  I hate to break it to you, but generally kids don't appreciate their parents until they have kids of their own (and sometimes not even then).  Why should we expect anything different from adopted kids?
6. Please don't generalize horror stories and apply them to every adoptive family you know.  Yes, some adopted kids grow up to be punks.  Guess what, so do a lot of biological kids.  And, yes, adoption involves money, and where money is, so is corruption.  But, don't assume, because you saw a news report on CNN about a corrupt adoption in Ethiopia, that every Ethiopian adoption is corrupt.  Unfortunately, the good stories don't make prime time but they are the majority.
7. If you see a multiracial family in the grocery store, maintain a little bit of self composure.  I mean, if you're going to stare unceasingly, at least follow it by a smile so we don't feel the need to watch our back all the way to the car.
8. Be sensitive about asking questions (even good questions) in front of older children.  While some kids soak it up, not all children like being in the spotlight their whole lives.  If you have a genuine desire to know more (besides unbridled curiosity), politely tell the parent you would love to know more, and do they have an email address or could you pick their brain sometime.  Most adoptive parents I know LOVE to talk about adoption (myself included), but their first priority is the protection of their children.  Right now this isn't really an issue for me, because Joseph is too young to comprehend any question or conversation I might be having.  But, in a few years brace yourself for mama bear should you get too inquisitive in front of him.
9. Don't leave out the bio kids.  This has happened to me numerous times.  I see strangers in the store, and they ooohhh and ahhhh all over the brown baby, completely ignoring the beautiful pink babies in the same shopping cart.  I get it.  He stands out (because he's brown, but also because he's gorgeous).  But again, keep in mind the kids.  You never know if that middle child isn't crying out for just a portion of baby brother's public attention.
10. Unless you have a really really good reason (like you are the child's Godparent), don't ask about the birth family or the reason for relinquishment.  Some parents are very sensitive on this issue, and rightfully so.  Joseph has an absolutely amazing birth father, who had a tragic story that involved nothing less than pure sacrificial love, that led him to take Joseph to the orphanage.  It undoubtedly saved my son's life.  I hope Joseph grows up with nothing but love and honor for him, and one day I hope we all get to go back and meet him again.  Not every adopted child has such a story.  But, as beautiful as his story is, it is still tragic and involves a lot of loss.  As he gets older, we can't pretend that this won't affect him, and casually discuss it while picking out bananas at Wal-Mart.  As he gets older, I hope Joseph is at peace enough with his story to want to talk about it, but I won't force him to.

Adoption is a beautiful, amazing thing, so let's talk about it.  Never, never be afraid to talk about it. Just think a little before speaking, especially if the kids are within earshot.  I've only been an adoptive mama for six months, and so I'm sure I'm missing a lot.  So I would love for other adoptive parents to chime in on this, and add to my list.

Posted by Shonda

My thoughts......people tend to not "get it" unless they are "in" it, or close to someone who is.  So if you don't understand, please try.  It's very important for our children.  And pass it on. 

Adoption Shirts & Necklaces for Christmas......Buy them here!!

As most of you know, we are adopting the most beautiful 2-year-old girl in the world from Ethiopia.  We have a picture, or two and that's all we know about her looks, but we see love and tenderness, and joy, and hope in her eyes.  And her smile.....awwww!--you've never seen one like it before (except she looks an awful lot like her new brother Lukey :0)!  And her bushy eyebrows match those of our oldest and her daddy.  She will fit right in.  She is healthy, and growing and we have been told she loves to listen to music on her nannies' cell phones.  She is lovable (of course), sociable, and likes to sing spiritual songs...love that!  She is from Wolayta, but was transferred to Holt's Care Center a couple of months ago where we will meet her....in TWO WEEKS!!!  Yes, 2 weeks!!!  We have our court date November 24 and will be flying over a few days early.  We are soo excited!! And also emotional...and moody.  Okay--I am emotional and moody.  I did really well up until a couple of weeks ago.  I finally allowed myself to become emotionally attached.  I had to.  I have been reading lots about parenting internationally adopted children and I had to try to visualize how things may (or may not) be.  And then we got the updated pictures...after 5 months, so six months after her first picts were taken.  I have to say I had a melt-down.  She has grown soo much and looks much different then when we originally introduced to her via email.  I'm telling myself it's just the picture...they really weren't that great, but at least we'll have them for her Life Book.

I am sharing this tale again because I have the opportunity to post my Blog on some other websites that are advocating adoption through Christmas sales.  Check HERE,  HERE, and HERE to see!  And we have sooo many shirts left that I am hoping, praying for great things.  

Front Reads: I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:16

For the WHOLE family!

Men's sizes MAY come in either Mocha Brown or Chocolate Brown.

LOTSA Baby and Toddler sizes too.

And Youth...

Back

AND my never-seen-before necklaces!!!!  I purchased these beauties from the Matsiko Children's Choir from Uganda.  We hosted these children a year ago and when they left our hearts were more open to adoption than ever.  I contacted the choir director and asked if we could help feed the people of Uganda by purchasing their creations, and he was so anxious to help us with our adoption as well.  Made by the men and women of Uganda.........

What you see is what I have left!
 Hurry!

 You may choose from light or dark beads.

 Each animal is hand-carved wood--can you imagine the time and hard work?.

 My last selection of bone necklaces--last two left.
sorry, only ONE left....the white bone SOLD!
All necklaces are $15.

We would love to help you do your shopping this year and all the sales would go toward our journey.  It's what we're doing for Christmas!!  Yay for adoption!!  
Shirts and necklaces for Christmas.....YES!!!  
Shop away!! 
You can order through PayPal on the right side, or email me at cholo5@wescomm.com to order by check or ask about sizing/fit.  
Thank you for your loving support this Christmas season!!!

15 and struggling

just can't seem to get it together today....
everything will come together tomorrow, 
but today it's fallen 
to 
pieces. 

16 Days.......

A little over 2 weeks and we meet our daughter!!!  Our daughter :0).....never thought it would really happen.  After three boys and we will finally have a girl!  I've become a fan of PINK. :0)