crying AGAIN!!!!

Is it strange that I cry every time I read another blogger's story about their African adoption? Every comment I leave says how I'm in tears about their stories. What a great thing when I'm so emotionally wrapped up in the fact that within the next year (or two) we will bring our little girl home. I love those little faces that are already "home" and have an idea of what it took to get them there. These people are all so fascinating to me. It's this blogging thing....
I LOVE my blog......I love the fact that I can connect with soo many families that I don't even know, but have something in common with. I love the fact that I can connect with people that I do know, and maybe don't even talk to anymore, and everyone in the world can know what I'm up to on a given week, if they really care. :0). I love that I can write anything that I want and express my feelings about anything that's important to me and I will always have it to go back and look at. And I can post things like this that I think are REALLY important......

Luke got a stool and just stood up on it. When I asked what he was doing he said, "I just wanted to see how big the nails were". Just outta the blue.
This little boy just wants Jesus for Christmas.

And again, I'm crying.......
I even cry at my own blog! :0)

Decision Time!!!

Because of these girls.....


And the impact they have made on our family.......



I am vowing that by THIS WEEKEND we will make a decision about our adoption. WE are emotionally ready and we have been waiting to decide which agency we will choose and whether she will be from Uganda or Ethiopia. So stay tuned.....

I have been meaning to send the girls our letters since October some time (they were here in July) and it just never happened. I needed to get the photos developed and make a collage, as this is the only way they can take them back to Uganda. So that took me forever...and we don't have a printer right now, so I couldn't print them out. Well, I went to Walgreen's online and put my order in and made a collage for each of the girls--yay--one task accomplished!! Then I looked at the paperwork we got from the International Children's Network (they handle all of the choir's business) and found that they had a Christmas wish-list for the children in case we wanted to send them a gift. We have put some money in our "charity box" and decided this is what we wanted to do with it. So.......I spent TWO & A HALF hours trying to find something special for each of our girls...within a budget...not knowing what the other items they have already received look like. So it took a little while. :0) I got our 12 year-old, Shalom (Sharom), the prettiest dress ever and some tights to match---and found little Berinda , (pronounced Belinda) our 8-year-old, some sweet dress-up shoes and stockings, as well as a Polly Pocket and some toiletry items. Anita (our angel-12 year-old), had already received everything on her list--I can believe it--she makes an impact on everyone she meets. So we sent some money to go towards her big items that can only be purchased in Uganda (like a mattress, blanket, school uniform, and shoes & socks). The items that were not sent as gifts had to be purchased by the ICN and they were grateful (so I sent an extra pair of shoes I found on clearance so they would have one less pair to buy).

The greatest thing about doing all of this was that I felt like I was with them all day long--remembering their smiles and glowing personalities, picturing what their new items would like on, and imagining how excited they will be when they open them up. I had tears all day--some of frustration, but mostly of joy. They have surely made a dent in my life.

I ran home and got all of their items packed into a box (man I wish I had a scanner so you could have seen the picture Luke drew of all of us together in front of their Matsiko van) so I could get it to them quickly. The deadline was December 10th and I really cut it close!



With all of this chaos I vowed to myself that Dic and I would finally come to decision on our adoption and get started. We are ready...we are soooo ready!! I even have some clothes saved for her!

Our biggest hurdle with trying to decide is that Uganda takes one 2 week trip vs. Ethiopia's 1 week trip, and having our boys at home for such a lengthy time would be difficult. Uganda is in our hearts forever and it would be my first choice, but logistically I'm not sure it will win.

So I will pray....and Dic will pray....and the kids will pray.

We'll let you know!!!

a little tree-hunting......

brody (nephew), luke and zachary with grandpa jim's tree

tak'n a break for some climbing

my dad, sister, kim, shayna (niece), and cole



oh to live in the Black Hills!


luke and cousin brendan


my brother, casey, and his boys, brendan and brody




me and my brother's new puppy, meadow. she was a little chilly.


my dad....my funny funny dad--- remembering tree-hunting with his sister, marilee........she always felt sorry for the charlie brown tree. isn't he funny?





seven out of the eleven grand-kids--what a challenge to get them all on one log!
the weather was beautiful--no wind and lots of sun. the only thing missing was the snow.
all of the trees were found....perfect in every way, but of course, ours is the most beautiful! :0)

Our Thanksgiving

So there's always the turkey at Thanksgiving............
(this is Cole's Snowbell--the Tom of the bunch)


This was the toddler table......
(Jace-Clay's son, Brody-Casey's son, Shayna-Kim's daughter, and Brecken-Casey's daughter)


more turkey.....
(Luke's turkey--she's real sweet)


And the mommies and daddies........
(Big-Brother, Casey & his wife Allison----little brother, Clay & his fiance', Jessilyn, with their baby Mkenzie)


And the big kids' table...........
(nephew, Brendan ((Casey's oldest)), and our three boys)


lots and lots of turkey......
(Zachary's turkey)


The rest of the family.....minus my dad
(engaged in football at this point, I think).


The after-dinner party.......


The games........


The pie........


And the stories.........

So much to be grateful for on this family-filled day. It's kind of like Christmas when we finally take the time to remember Christ. On Thanksgiving people finally stop and take the time to recall all of their blessings. Such a shame, but better than never. I wish everyone could have heard my son's (Cole) prayer before we sat down to feast. He brought tears to my eyes and I know he made us all think. He took his time and remembered to ask the Lord for blessings for others who don't have the necessities and homes to go to. I am amazed and so very proud.
I have much to be thankful for each and every day!!

birth-day celebration

Lego Indiana Jones is the big talk at our house right now......

So the cake was just that!
Lots of fun this year with Zachary really helping with the decorating.


And we had to have the snake pit....I guess Indy's really afraid of snakes (notice his cute little flame to scare them away)......okay, VERY SCARY flame. :0)

I think this was our favorite part (mine & Zach's).....the creepy guy lost forever in our pool with passer-by dude looking on.







This was Zachary's party with the family the weekend before the "bash".
Putting together his new Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Legos we gave him--just in time for the fun cake!

One year older...still can't believe he's 9!!!

My Zachary was born 9 Years Ago Today!!!!

This little boy has made me smile for nine years. He's made me laugh 'til I cried and cry 'til I laughed. Thank you, Zachary, for choosing me as your mom nine sweet years ago.




God gave us this little boy to teach us about patience and understanding. Thank you, God, for answering my prayers.




I am so very proud of this sweet, smart, funny, beautifully-goofy boy for the person he has become.
I love you, Zachie!

If Only....

Eight percent...only 8% of the world's population adopted one child...1 child.........THERE WOULD BE NO MORE ORPHANS!!!!

Did You Know.......

......that out of over 147 million orphans in the world, only 1 percent are adopted?

Family

Halloween was very short-lived this year...we didn't carve pumpkins until Halloween day, we trick-or-treated, and went to a party that night. The boys had a good time and it was filled with family, which is always good.

Kim couldn't go out with us, so we came to her...all ten children and their parents!! Even grandpa and grandma went which is highly unusual!! Fun Fun!! We did miss our Jacob, but thankfully we will get to see him every summer and during the holidays as Casey (my oldest brother) and his family are moving to Rapid City.

Lukey holding his youngest cousin, Mkenzie.

Cousins.....love it!

Kim had some very concerned nieces and nephews, so she did some teaching. :0)

My Sissy

Today is dedicated to my sister, Kim. Today my sister had surgery to remove her cancerous thyroid and also had three of her four para-thyroids removed. Yesterday my sister had cancer....today it's gone, and it has been said that thyroid cancer is the "good cancer" because it is pretty easily detectable and removed. I say it's still cancer. Cancer is cancer, and none of it is "good".

I am writing because my sister and I haven't always been on the same page. In fact, for most of our lives we've been in completely different books. She thinks I'm a freak who breastfeeds too long and goes to quacks for doctors, and I think she can be overly-honest and extremely loud. We have the same genetics, but our personalities are so different that you'd never know it.

Yesterday my sister had cancer and today it's gone... and I get to write about how much I love her and how sad I am for the times that we've missed out on because we haven't been able to come to a middle ground. This isn't the first day that I've felt good about our relationship, but it's the day that I surrender my feelings because I realize how much we have taken each other for granted. She may not see it this way, cause I've always been "hypersensitive" (her words), but she doesn't get to write it either. Ha!
I'm so happy that she is well and that we have so many more years to be sisters.....not everyone gets to say that.
Yesterday my sister had cancer.....today it's gone, and I
thank you, God, for my sister.
.

FALL

Well, the leaves are falling, but we never had our fall season. It got really cold and it just never warmed up again...straight from summer to winter. The busy-ness started with the school/soccer season and as it hasn't stopped. Usually this happens about Halloween and goes straight downhill from there, but with the early chills came the premature craziness. Here is an example...our day yesterday (Saturday):
7:00--get up and ready for the day
8:00--make salad for church brunch
9:00-- chores and packing for entire day
10:15--prayer service at church
10:30--brunch for possible new pastor
11:30--Dic's church board interview with poss. new pastor
12:00--Luke's last soccer game
1:00--Zach's last soccer game
1:30--Luke's soccer pizza party
2:30--Zach's soccer party
2:45--home to get costumes on and faces painted
3:00--Uncle Clay picked up kids to take them to a Halloween/Birthday party
3:00--Devotional service at church with poss. new pastor
3:30--social at church
4:00--pick kids up at party
5:30--niece's Birthday party
7:45--headed to mom's to have her take care of boys for a couple of hours :0)
8:00--change of direction....heading home....with kids still dressed and painted from party and no dinner!
(We were planning to attend our good friends' 40th Anniversary party, but decided we couldn't handle one more thing.)

Soooooo....today we are resting.....after rising at 6:00 to be ready for worship practice at 8:00am for church at 10:00. Okay, NOW we're resting. :0) Now that soccer is over I am vowing to myself that we will have moments of rest through the winter. I don't do chaos very well and tend to want to pull my nice warm covers over my head and sleep instead. Dic and I think that we lead a pretty calm, simple life, but it has been pointed out that we follow this routine fairly often. So I may have to work harder at saying No when necessary. This is something I have to remind myself of every once-in-a-while. Tomorrow is going to be a good day, but I do have some things that are weighing on my heart and I would appreciate any prayers this week. My sister was given the news that she has thyroid cancer and is going in for surgery on Friday to have it removed. She has assured me that everything is/will be alright and she has felt peace about most of it. Also, my friend's son fell on his school steps and fractured a vertebrae which has really thrown her for a loop and, of course, put him in a lot of pain.. Her husband is deployed and she is doing what she and her partner usually take on together. I want to be a strong friend and sister and mom and aunt and daughter and wife and just need a little help right now. Thank you for your prayers during this Winter-ish Fall week. May God Bless my family and friends.

Where's my Faith?

I cannot contain my excitement that I'm feeling right now. I have been walking around the last week feeling like our plan...my plan, was getting further away. Things were not looking hopeful and I still knew that we would someday adopt, but didn't know when. I just finished telling some friends today that it didn't look like it was going to happen anytime soon. And I was soo confused about whether God was telling me to back down and chill out, or have faith in Him and keep on persevering no matter how hard. I started re-reading my assignment from our small group at church and the book is called Manna. Manna is learning to trust God for our daily provisions. Everything in these few chapters kept saying "trust Me and I will Bless you". I kept reading about how we don't need the "stuff" in our lives....we just need God. I take this personally because I really do like shopping, BUT how many "things" do I need? I should be following the advice I give my children and just feel blessed and grateful for what I have. Soo many times we idol the blessings....the material items....rather than the Blesser. It doesn't mean that we have to live in poverty, but we need to be happy with what He has already given us. We are not living on Manna if we always want more, and we are constantly chasing after the things we think will make us happy; the bigger house, the nicer car, the toys. And then we don't feel at peace. We are always real elated when something turns out right and we praise God (or we should) in these times, but when God provides for us today will we wake up in the morning knowing that He will continue these blessings every day no matter what? So my point being.... that even though we may live paycheck-to-paycheck and money may not come as easily to us as it does to some, that we ARE doing God's work when we take a child who has nothing and give them a family who loves and cherishes them. God wants this and so we must trust Him when He tells us to keep going, though it may not be easy...financially or otherwise. We have all we need and we will find a way to make this happen with God leading the parade. It is He who is the light that we follow...He brought us to this point...so we need to have a little Faith and know that this is the right thing to do. He WILL Bless us and we should not think we have to take it all on ourselves. We are NOT alone on this journey.

Today I read some more, took a nap, and woke up feeling drawn to agency-shopping again. I had kinda given up on the idea that this could ever be a reality. But with some conversations and some FAITH (yeh!!) I have given this back to my God. I also received a comment from a person I don't know (I hardly ever receive comments!) that made me feel at peace. So thank you for all of you who are quietly supporting us. Thank you for your prayers and little reminders that our God has a plan for our family. I am again jumping for joy to get this party started!! And please feel free to share your thoughts anytime as your comments are always very much loved appreciated.

God gave me Grace today.
Kendra

Just One

God has our little girl all picked out for us. She is beautiful inside and out and loves the Lord with all her might. She has the smile of a princess and a heart that spills love. We will wait to meet her when He says it's time. He has chosen her for us.....one little girl....just one.

TRUST

If God really wants us to bring a little girl into our home, He will help us find a way. I am laying it down and have total faith the He will provide in whatever way we need. I have faith that He wants us to do this even though it won't be easy and the hurdles are going up already.
I have faith.

And this is why I want to adopt--enjoy your read

I am adding this:
those of you who know me know that I follow (stalk) the most amazing-loving girl who pours her heart out to soo many in need every day....in Africa especially.
This is HER Story......

He is teaching me to stop for ONE. And it is hard and it is ugly. Because every time I stop for that ONE sick child, that ONE hungry old man, that ONE new baby girl, my mind races with the statistics of how many more there are that I am not touching, not feeding, not saving. God whispers every time though that this ONE is enough. That this ONE is feeling His love and that is eternal. ETERNAL. I think of sweet baby Happy who died at 4 months after we did all that we could. I didn't understand how God had led me to feel so attached to that little girl if His plan was to take her all along. I think of Michael who is back at home with his step mom, healthy now, but more than likely still mistreated. God knows that as a single woman I cannot legally adopt a little boy, how could my heart be so knit to his. I think tonight of Gloria who's brain was so damaged from her high fever she may always be in a vegetable like state. God in His infinite wisdom KNEW that if I had been there a few days sooner, this could have been prevented. But then I think of 14 little girls who have a home and food and a Mommy and know Jesus. I think of 600 Karamajong children, modern day lepers in Uganda, singing about God's love for them and leaving with their bellies full. I think of 400 sponsored children who sometimes show up on Saturday in new clothes because now that Amazima is providing them with all their basic needs (food, education, medical care) their parents can afford to buy them a NEW DRESS. I see thousands of deep brown eyes and feel thousands of little brown hands and I know that even on the hardest day, stopping is worth it. A life changed is worth it, even if only ONE. God's love made known is worth it, even if only to ONE. I will not save them all. But I will keep trying. I will say Yes. I will stop for that ONE no matter how hopeless. Jesus, give us the stregth to say yes to whoever you put in our paths today.

In case you were wondering.....

I am feeling the need to write ONLY because I know my Auntie Lynn reads and wants the status on our fam.
This past week was on the crazy side and I hafta say it was the first time in a really long time that I felt stress! Not just the overwhelming feeling of too much to do, but pure stress. Seems so insignificant now, but I was having a rummage sale at my sister's over the weekend and if you've ever had one yourself you'll know why I felt the need to hurl myself out my car window a few times. But it's done and gone and we made some money ta boot!
I also began the process of searching for an agency for our adoption and all of the facts and figures were beginning to twist around my brain like a blood-sucking leech. In the midst of it all I was given a generous offer for financial assistance and I felt the need to jump and try to figure that all out right away too. While the mounds and mounds of rummage junk was piling up in my dining room needing to me marked and moved, I was worried again about the details of bringing a little girl home. And really nothing got accomplished and still hasn't. That's how I roll.....give me more than I can handle and I shut right down. The boys did get to to and from school and to their soccer games, which is totally amazing and I am trying to undo the mounds of accumulating clothes, toys, etc that may have gotten a little neglected over the week. I may even make dinner tonight!
Feel Peace

God is telling us, "YES"....it's time

"The reward for considering the helpless is not just the end result, but the pain, the heart pain, that accompanies it. It is cleansing to hurt when God Himself hurts; it is a good thing."

Adopting...time to cross the line....

I have been wanting to post about this, but we haven't really been at a point where I thought I could state it as fact. We are beginning the adoption process. We are at that last point where we may have one more line to cross before it's official. I can't stop thinking about it....I can't stop reading about it....I can't stop talking about it. So many emotions involved and I am excited, but scared to death. Our friends waited so very long for their little girl in Ethiopia, one family I follow just found out that their little girl has tested for HIV and cannot be taken from the country of Uganda with such a medical condition, and then there is the money.....OH YES, the freaking money!!!! So this is what I've been faced with when I tell people we want to adopt from Africa: Why wouldn't you adopt from the U.S.? We have needy children here! Or if you can't give your own children the luxuries, why would you bring more into your family? And then there's this....Oprah and the U.S. take care of the people of Africa...they'll be fine.

If you see your comment in here...well, sorry...you've hit a nerve. Here is my answer for the four-hundreth, fifty-sixth time!!!! It is our choice to take a child from poverty and bring her into our home as one of our own. When God said care for the needy did he say only those who live in your city? Your state? Your country? No, he said to care for the helpless. We are all God's children. Can Oprah take care of all 147 million orphans? I think not. And they won't be fine....they are dying every day because of conditions that can be prevented (a whole other subject). And yes it IS sooo expensive!!! Is that right? Nope! But who would have to pay for that if we didn't go for it anyway? Those sweet babies! We DO live pay check- to- paycheck, but we have descent cars, a nice house (we think), and we have each other. Our kids are not neglected, they have the necessities, and they don't go without on too many things. So if I have to teach piano to them instead of getting them lessons....so be it! If instead of them getting riding lessons we try to figure it ourselves....so be it! They are loved and we do our best. I don't know how we'll do the money part. it's the one BIG thing that is holding us back, even though we are told that the bills don't all come at once. We are not accustomed to debt and we really don't want to start now. But God is pulling us in this direction and if we wait for the money to come we could be passing up an opportunity for our whole family. We don't want this after our own kids are grown and gone...we all want this experience now. The boys have been praying for this for months! I think I may have gotten a sign yesterday when I stumbled upon this blog. This was the first thing that popped out at me:

"He didn't put us here so we could have big houses, drive nice cars, have fancy clothes, and care about materialistic things. He put us here to love the orphaned and widowed, and love those around us. If just 8% of those who profess to be believers FOLLOWED what God wants us to do and adopted an orphan OR cared for a child in need, there would be no more orphans. That's 147 MILLION children without homes and love that would be given a family, and people to love them. "I'm too old"...Better an old mom than NO MOM right? :) and "It's too expensive" isn't an excuse because God will provide. I have seen him provide for the Oatsvalls, who started out without ANY money in their adoption fund and are now waiting to travel to go get their TWO children."

I decided this must be it....

God is telling me it's time. Time to cross that line.

Scared to death, but excited as ever.